so beautifully articulated Troy, so real and true. i am walking a treadmill of various speeds of steady, watching my state as i watch my son's state. things are hard for him, it is hard to witness. i remain on the edges.
steadiness is and then when i slip forward into the future even for a second, steadiness slips. it is in those moments an intense sense of failure surfaces. awareness is exhausting. i shake my head and try again in the next second. a loop setting to ascertain my level, wait for the even and be the calm. i wonder about sustenance and decide on hope. i wonder about steadiness and presence and being present and whether calm can only come from the opportunity of each individual moment. i wonder about a lot of things.
steadiness as a value sits at the apex of everything for me. thank you for your words.
Thank you for taking the time to write this B. I’ve read it a few times now.
“I remain on the edges” really stayed with me. There is something incredibly hard about watching someone you love go through something and knowing that being there doesn’t necessarily mean stepping in. Sometimes I suppose it means exactly what you’re describing and staying close, watching, feeling it with them but not trying to take it away.And I’m not sure steadiness is something we ever completely arrive at. Maybe the slipping is part of it too.
Thank you for sharing this especially knowing some of what sits behind these words. It means a lot.
so beautifully articulated Troy, so real and true. i am walking a treadmill of various speeds of steady, watching my state as i watch my son's state. things are hard for him, it is hard to witness. i remain on the edges.
steadiness is and then when i slip forward into the future even for a second, steadiness slips. it is in those moments an intense sense of failure surfaces. awareness is exhausting. i shake my head and try again in the next second. a loop setting to ascertain my level, wait for the even and be the calm. i wonder about sustenance and decide on hope. i wonder about steadiness and presence and being present and whether calm can only come from the opportunity of each individual moment. i wonder about a lot of things.
steadiness as a value sits at the apex of everything for me. thank you for your words.
Thank you for taking the time to write this B. I’ve read it a few times now.
“I remain on the edges” really stayed with me. There is something incredibly hard about watching someone you love go through something and knowing that being there doesn’t necessarily mean stepping in. Sometimes I suppose it means exactly what you’re describing and staying close, watching, feeling it with them but not trying to take it away.And I’m not sure steadiness is something we ever completely arrive at. Maybe the slipping is part of it too.
Thank you for sharing this especially knowing some of what sits behind these words. It means a lot.